From One Survivor to Another

November 19, 2012

why rape is worse than murder (tw: rape)



sometimes people ask me, “is rape worse than murder?” and my response is always: yes.

people tend to think that a rapist doesn’t take your life away, but they do. they took away my ability to trust, reason or think clearly without wondering what a person’s intent is. rapists took away a life filled with hope and wonder and instead replaced it with a life filled with regret and uncontrollable anxiety. am i supposed to feel “lucky” that they left me alive? because what kind of life is it where i have to second guess the people around me? 

rape is worse than murder because rape survivors live to tell the tale of the morning, day or night their life was taken away from them. we survived what sociologists warned us about. we don’t give a shit about your statistics or why murder really is a hell of a lot worse. 

because if we were dead we wouldn’t have to live through rape culture. if we were dead we wouldn’t have to relive every time someone says something that blames us. if we were dead we wouldn’t have to survive through more sexual assaults and abusive relationships than we needed.

this isn’t meant to be morbid or to make you angry. it’s made to make you face the fucking reality we have to face every day. to survive is to contemplate death, because we are on the edge of it every day. we face it head on every time we get immersed in rape culture.

if you can’t see this or understand it you’re not worth the air we breathe. 

If I was dead then you motherfuckers would be in jail and no one - fucking no one - would dare tell me that it was my fucking fault.

Murder leaves a bunch of sad people who are unified around the loss of a person. Sure there is pain and terror in the moment, but that ends and everything else is for those who are left behind.

Rape leaves a person who struggles to find even a few others who will understand them. There is pain that lasts forever, and on top of that, you can’t even be guaranteed a supportive and loving community to go back to. 

When I was sexually abused I would have preferred death over anything else.

(Source: dilemmagoldman)

  1. skinpigeon reblogged this from a-giant-spider
  2. a-giant-spider reblogged this from dilemmagoldman and added:
    ^^ someone that said it better than i can
  3. rivaroo reblogged this from dilemmagoldman
  4. flower-knight reblogged this from hairypitsandtits
  5. ragingnewborn reblogged this from rapeculturerealities
  6. onlygoodloveforall reblogged this from dilemmagoldman and added:
    feministnightclub: sometimes people ask me, “is rape worse than murder?” and my response is always: yes. people tend to...
  7. ladyofleithian reblogged this from thisrevolutionwillbeliterary
  8. thisrevolutionwillbeliterary reblogged this from justjasper
  9. neotenize reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade
  10. patchwinkle reblogged this from justjasper
  11. faery-vibes reblogged this from mercurial-spirit
  12. dauntless-slytherin-valkyrie reblogged this from mercurial-spirit
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  14. mandypoppins reblogged this from mercurial-spirit
  15. mercurial-spirit reblogged this from allbones-nomarrow
  16. thepsychedelicate reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade
  17. thepluralisphoenixii reblogged this from allbones-nomarrow and added:
    I second all of this. Read the above comment by dyke-recovery, she gives a good general explanation of what...
  18. apheliosis reblogged this from allbones-nomarrow
  19. mamayoda reblogged this from moncoeurdartichaut
  20. guilty-kicks reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade and added:
    although living with rape is still ‘living’ that doesn’t necessarily make it better than murder, that being said, murder...
  21. sleepyhavvk reblogged this from theslayyer
  22. illmakeitwithoutyou reblogged this from dragonflycup
  23. moncoeurdartichaut reblogged this from dilemmagoldman and added:
    sometimes people ask me, “is rape worse than murder?” and my response is always: yes. people tend to think that a rapist...
  24. thechocolatebrigade reblogged this from digital-unit and added:
    I think these are things that need to be discussed regardless if they cause arguments in your opinion. fruit-by-the-foot...
  25. le-me-kaput reblogged this from thechocolatebrigade
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