From One Survivor to Another

i do not want to see the perks of being a wallflower movie at all

1. book adaptations fsadfsdf and some of the actors they’ve chosen are definitely going to mess with what i imagined to myself just by sheer virtue of who they are

2. i always felt like the music part of the book was like…something you discover for yourself after reading it. an then you read it again and it is different.

3. i am skeptical any time someone tries to make a major movie with something about sexual abuse in it. it is very likely that the film will lack any subtlety at all, which was 90% of the shock/impact in the book.

4. i don’t know, when it was a book i could kind of maybe imagine myself as the some of the people in it. seeing all of these white kids doing things i’d never do is just going to make it even more clear that it was never really about me, as much as i wanted it to be

having self-care chocolate is important.

im starting to see survivors everywhere

not just on tumblr, but in my daily life too. once you start paying attention, it’s not hard. i think part of it’s that “survivor sense” i get where i can see someone and i just know they’ve been through something— sexual abuse, child abuse, suicide, lots of things.

it’s actually a ton of people. like an unbelievable number.

it is both horrifying and amazing at the same time.

i feel like part of this path i’m on (ugh generic metaphors) is making myself understand that i’m not as alone as I think i am. in fact, i’m surrounded by people

survivors have no obligation to be “polite” to people who hurt them

i am tired of pretending that i have to have a sob story before people will start respecting me

i am tired of hearing these messages that say it’s better to be self-destructive and self-loathing than to ever be angry

i am tired of not being allowed to be angry whenever i want, however i want

i have no obligation to shut up and “get over” what happened

i have no obligation to move at anyone’s pace but my own

politeness is bullshit. my anger is important.

people trying to stifle my anger is like people trying to control my body all over again

My favorite race in the Mass Effect universe is the Elcor

They lack the physical ability to change their voice inflections, and their body language is impossible to read. So when they speak, they preface their sentence with a tone, like:

Annoyed: Go away.

Relieved: So you will help me?

As a shy, anxious kid I appreciate this so much.

i think that’s one of the reasons i tend to dislike (organized) religion

there are so many exceptions, and so many people who fit into those exceptions

but often all you get is this very binary, either/or kind of thinking.

love thy father and thy mother…well, what if they are absolutely horible and their so called “sacrifice” for you has always been half-assed and selfish

thou shalt not kill…what if you’re defending yourself? what if someone hurts you in such a way that their continued existence is still a threat to your perceived sense of safety?

etc etc

i hate rules like this

here is how (tumblr) uncool i am

• i have not watched tv for five years
• i have not listened to the radio for four years
• i have not been to a movie theater for like, six months
• i have only seen like ten episodes of Adventure Time
• i have no idea what all of the new Avengers stuff is about
• i have seen only one episode of Doctor Who
• I have not ever seen Sherlock or Merlin
• there’s like five episodes of Korra out now but I have not seen any of them

all the fandoms I like are for dead shows, like Twin Peaks and The X Files. it is sad. :*(

of course that beautiful immi shirt is out of stock

http://immi.syncl.jp/?p=goods&group_id=490

i would totally pay $30 for it

100 even

also it is the ONLY immi merch that has ever been available apparently :*(

I want to see more East Asians wearing red

It is so good with our skin tones and dark hair. Like perfect.

But for some reason I rarely see it. Why?

Would it scare people too much? Would it be too bold of a statement?

Red is a color we should OWN. It is too good on us not to wear.

myownremedy asked: friend you have the most excellent eyebrows ever. i really love eyebrows and i know that this seems like a weird compliment but your eyebrows ROCK. strong eyebrows are in, about time, because they really add to beautiful faces like yours. so yeah. your eyebrows are excellent. :)

ahh i wanted to respond to this yesterday

[tw: talk of self harm, trich]

i am really surprised by this particular compliment. back when I dealt with trichtillomania, i used to pull my hair there. and when my skin was worse i would itch a lot on my eyebrows. so like in middle school and high school i went around with fucked up eyebrows or no eyebrows and people would make comments about it or ask invasive questions or make fun of me.

like

hearing this from someone actually makes me very happy

[tw: talk of suicide, scars, self harm, body dysphoria, appropriation of suicide?]

Read More

rewatching Paranoia Agent

still a masterpiece eight years later

fasd

apparently I was supposed to get a check for one of the awards I got

there was some confusion on my part because two of the award amounts were the same, but whoever put the check for award 1 put it in the folder for award 2. so when i asked them about a missing amount they got all mixed up.

anyway

I HAVE AN EXTRA 300 DOLLARS I WASNT EXPECTING WHAT

awesome surprise is awesome

i feel sort of better

just kind of sad now

thank you for being so nice, everyone